Is “wiring” an excuse?

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We are really good at coming up with excuses, aren’t we? One area that I have a hard time sorting through is my own “wiring.”

I have poured through numerous personality and wiring assessments (DISC, Myers-Briggs, Kiersey, Enneagram, Strengthsfinder, etc.) over the years, all in order to discover the nature of my existence. “Who was I created to be?” I never want to stop discovering; At the same time, discovery should yield fruit. Discovery should begin to pave the trail beneath our feet so that, after some distance, our steps our surer, more deliberate, and more confident in who we were made to be. Or perhaps, the more accurate way to say it would be, how we were made to be.

You see, these assessments illuminate only part of the story. I have had some great epiphanies through this process, but they have been about how I operate.

There are a few great questions that naturally arise at this point, but today, I want to focus on one: “How do I know that my mode of operating is truly me? What if these discoveries are only identifying the box I’ve found myself inside of?” I soon discovered that this was the case.

It is easy to equate my reactions and responses to life with “wiring.” I would have to challenge this concept anymore. Wiring is who I was made to be: Divinely, universally, and uniquely. False Self is who I was conditioned to be. I came to realize that much of what I saw in the mirror was a fabrication, either of who I wanted to be perceived as, or who my environment shaped me to be. This is where the assessments have to be put into perspective. What are they measuring? Are they reflecting the authentic me, buried under layers of masks and pretense, or are they reflecting what is on the surface?

I was tired of it. I grew weary of trying to coerce behaviors out of myself that just weren’t going to happen without constant babysitting. I was fed up with coddling myself and making excuses for how I operated.

It is an exhaustive process, stripping down the False Self before your Creator. And, if it weren’t for His comfort, it would remain a terrifying prospect as well. But the reality is that once we let go of our facades, our True Identity can be revealed. It is only in this place that we can finally answer the existential question, “Why am I here?”

Having received the answer to this question, it put everything else into perspective. There is nothing else quite like walking with that assurance. It feels like being in The Matrix, seeing past all the facades of life, through to the code beneath. So naturally, as we begin to walk authentically, we remain alert for any semblance of the old man-the False Self, and we challenge its presence.

One of the great questions I have been asking myself is regarding my life-long need to be different. If we were all lined up in uniform, I would still find a way to be different. Why is it that I need everything in my life to make a statement? It could be that this is just part of my wiring as a Creative. Or, it could be that this is a way that I try to feed my False Self, garnering attention (good or bad) wherever I go. The question in my heart in this process is, “Is it self-seeking for me to want to be different?”

I don’t have an answer yet. This is still real-time for me. I do not dwell on it constantly, but the question does arise often enough that I want to do it justice. I am ok with whatever the Creator reveals-afterall, He fashioned me. His design is all that matters.

One thought on “Is “wiring” an excuse?

  1. Bob

    I find few lost men ever asking such questions. They go through life for the most part doing what they see as the right thing for themselves, their families etc. Most are honest to a degree, giving as long as it doesn’t cost them very much, and kind to those within their circle. When the commandments come, sin revives, and as Paul says, “I died”. Nothing takes it to the heart and soul like the commandments. Nothing shows a man his sinfulness, and lostness like the commandments, and nothing drives mankind to the cross of crucification and death like the law does. It is a tough school master. Some programs can actually help one find some answers or reasons for their existance but there is nothing that takes a man, made in the image of God, and transforms him into the image of God, except the blood of Jesus Christ which after ones death burial and resurrection with Christ, the blood begins to have it’s wonderful way in the heart mind and soul of man. Life in Christ takes the route of death to the old man in order for the creation of the new man. Life in Christ makes you the servant instead of the one served. Life in Christ makes you the least instead of you always being the chiefest. It takes all of the attention away from you and puts it all on Christ. All of your ambitions are crucified. All of your degrees, abilities, wealth, worth, perceptions and acknowledgements are laid off on the cross and you are crucified. In your resurrected state, you are the Kings child and you do like Jesus said, “what my father would have me to do.” I have just re read Bertha Smith’s autobiography and found her to be one of these kind of christians. Totally selfless, totally sold out to Christ, totally abandon to Him, totally in love with Him. It was the Lord that drove her to the mission field. It was the Lord who gave her Chinese children by the thousands when she never married. It was the Lord who was her support when she operated as an independent missionary. It was He who gave her the strength for forty years of service in China. It was he who gave her the love for a loveless people. He gave her courage to face the invading Japanese and the cruel communists who followed. Perhaps we can check our lives against ones like her to see if we have indeed crucified the old man and walk in newness of life in Christ.

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